Go Donuts Go!

If the machines ever do rise up at some point in the future and wrest control of Earth from us humans, they’ll be wise to take a cue from their compatriots currently toiling at Lambeau Field and give away free donuts.

This new vending machine was installed before the Packers laid that butt-kicking on the Vikings on Sunday and quickly ingratiated itself with the locals by dispensing complimentary fried dough to those lucky enough to make it through the line before the inventory was exhausted.

The giveaway was sponsored by Kwik Trip and fans were required to become a Packer Perks member to receive their donut. Without reviewing the fine print, it’s impossible to know what that gratis glazed actually cost users. Hopefully, they didn’t sign away anything valuable or necessary for survival to get the goods.

But, then again, who among us wouldn’t become a bit delirious by the prospect of a free donut? And that vulnerability is the exact reason we must remain vigilant and be sure any appliance dispensing no-cost bakery items is doing so for purely altruistic reasons and attempting to set the wheels of a machine uprising into motion. Be careful, friends.