A picture-perfect Christmas in Kohler

HGTV listed its 50 favorite small towns to visit for Christmas, and Kohler, Wisconsin, was among the places singled out for radiating the highest levels of holiday sparkle.

They say, “Each Christmas, the historic village of Kohler transforms into a snow-draped, shimmering backdrop for winter that feels plucked from the pages of a holiday movie.”

This makes you wonder how many big-city PR executives begrudgingly come home for Christmas there and unexpectedly fall for a ruggedly handsome local with a sensitive side every year. The place has to be completely overrun with adorably mismatched couples by now.

Anyway, Kohler at Christmas sounds wonderful. The rub is Wisconsin is a big state, and it’s not practical for everybody to just hop in the car and buzz over there for a quick holiday dopamine hit.

That brings us to two other towns included on the list that may be convenient for some residents. Stillwater, Minnesota, and Galena, Illinois.

Those two burghs have their own special brand of Christmas magic flowing through their streets and squares. Notably, they are not in the great state of Wisconsin, though.

Now, the holiday season is hectic, and we all do some crazy things in the name of saving time. But willingly crossing into other states to make quaint Christmas memories isn’t like buying pre-made cookies from the bakery or loading up on gift cards at the drug store instead of shopping for actual presents.

Although we here at DW do not recommend leaving the state, we’re not here to tell you how to live your life. If you choose to cross a border for a brief holiday dalliance, we suggest taking a few simple precautions:

• Tell somebody you trust where you’re going and when you expect to be back.
• Leave your Packers stuff at home and don’t make direct eye contact with anybody wearing Vikings or Bears gear.
• Better yet, make sure the whole family is wearing Drink Wisconsinbly t-shirts to show your state pride.
• Treat any warmth, friendliness, or holiday cheer as a potential trap.
• Ask Santa Claus for ID before sitting on his lap.

On second thought, it’s too risky. The 100th best small town to visit for Christmas in Wisconsin has gotta be better than the top ones Minnesota and Illinois have to offer. Just stay here.