Belgian Buzz Kill

The nation of Belgium slapped Wisconsin in the face recently when authorities destroyed a shipment of Miller High Life because of its “Champagne of Beers” slogan.

Something called the Comité Champagne requested that the shipment of cold, refreshing beer be destroyed for the crime of using the word “champagne” on their packaging, so customs agents crushed the cans.

As you may know, Champagne only comes from a specific region of Northeast France. All other sparkling wines are called, well, sparking wine. The French are extremely protective of that designation and go to great lengths to protect it.

But why blame the beer in all of this? The beer didn’t do anything to you. Leave the beer out of it. Couldn’t you just cross the offending phrase out with a marker or cover it with some electrical tape?

At least say you destroyed the beer and drink it at the Belgian Customs Administration summer picnic or just pick them off one by one after quittin’ time. Are you hoping France puts a gold star in your personnel file or something?

In light of these actions, we are forced to place Belgium on Drink Wisconsinbly Probation. Until further notice, we will not be consuming any Belgian beers or chocolate, and we’ll limit our intake of Belgian waffles. (We’re not made of stone!) In addition, any requests from the Comité Champagne to collab with DW on t-shirts or other products will be immediately denied.