Jerk Steals Coach’s Car

In news that sent palms hurtling toward faces all over the state, Bucks head coach Mike Budenholzer had his car stolen on Tuesday night in Milwaukee.

Police said his car was parked near Second and Florida streets in Walker’s Point when it was taken. It was discovered a couple of miles away around 21st Street and Highland Avenue early Wednesday.

Now, we shouldn’t have to tell anybody this, but it’s not cool to steal other people’s cars. It’s even less cool to swipe one belonging to the guy leading our undefeated Bucks and current best thing we’ve got going in the world of sports.

Maybe it was an honest mistake, and some guy just hopped in the wrong car and zoomed away. Then, realizing his embarrassing gaffe, he abandoned it, knowing Milwaukee’s Finest would eventually clean up his mess. But real life isn’t like the Flintstones. Cars that were built after the Stone Age do require keys, so let’s go ahead and assume it was intentional.

The Bucks are currently in the top spot of ESPN’s Power Rankings and a legitimate title contender again this season. And while Giannis & Company are capable of many great things on their own, they still need a coach to set the lineup, shout at referees, and generally run the show. Let’s not make that guy late and/or angry.

So, moving forward, nobody else steal Mike Budenholzer’s car. Better yet, don’t take anybody’s stuff that doesn’t belong to you. You’re free to steal hearts, steal second base, or steal the show in some sort of live stage performance scenario, but lay off the tangible objects, please. It’ll help keep spirits high in the run-up to the victory parade in June.