Please Stop Releasing Giant Snakes in Wisconsin

A woman in northern Oconto County was surprised earlier this week while walking her dog when she came across a 10-foot-long red-tailed boa constrictor.

The 50-pound snake was healthy but a little lethargic due to the cold, which makes sense since they are native to Central and South America and not Wisconsin.

According to the National Zoo, the red-tailed boa isn’t venomous and rarely attacks humans, which is reassuring. But, according to the Drink Wisconsinbly Week in Review editorial team, “rarely” ain’t “never,” so you’re right to be a little freaked out.

This is the second time we’ve featured a giant snake discovered within our borders in less than a year. As you may recall, a python was found in Kenosha last October. We certainly hope it’s the last time we have to do it. Giant snakes in the neighborhood seem like an issue DW’s Florida equivalent should be writing about regularly.

Officially, the Drink Wisconsinbly Week in Review staff are friends to all animals. But, truth be told, there are gradations to our love. In short, on one end of the scale are friendly, fuzzy creatures that purr or lick your face when they want attention. On the other end of the scale are ginormous snakes that can smoosh you. We are happy they exist, we just prefer that they do it in a jungle very far away from Dairyland.

Authorities don’t know whether this snake escaped from captivity, was released intentionally, or won a raffle for a free Wisconsin vacation. The important thing is that it was captured and transferred to a zoo in Michigan. That’s probably not far enough away, but at least it’s out of the state.

In conclusion, if you’re thinking of getting a giant snake, don’t. And, if you have a giant snake that has grown too large and sinister for your living space, please do not release it into the wild. Find a facility qualified to care for it. Preferably, it’s one that’s a very long slither from Wisconsin.